Funny New Year Phrases and Sayings

We have here a list of the funniest phrases and sayings for the New Year. Starting the new year with a big smile and even making your close one laugh is more than just a dose of stamina to spend the next 365 days. Have your pick.

Troll face 2013

What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square… It’s a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It’s just a few Jews walking around going, ‘sup? ~ Jon Stewart

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution. ~ Jay Leno

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~ Bill Vaughan

But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits. ~Andre Gide

I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser. ~ Robert Paul

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards.

Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. ~ G. K. Chesterton

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. ~ Anais Nin

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle. ~ Eric Zorn

From New Year’s on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. ~Leonard Bernstein

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. ~ Mark Twain

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other. ~ Anonymous

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. ~ Bill Vaughan

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that. ~ Judith Crist

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions! ~ Joey Adams

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when

you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. ~ P. J. O’Rourke

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~ Oscar Wilde

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. ~ Brooks Atkinson

New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday. ~ Charles Lamb

New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~ Mark Twain

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. ~ Anonymous

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. ~ James Agate